I'm feelin' 666

Hey! Hi. How are things. I'm fine. Just fine. Great. Okay, I've been a little bummed out.

I know I should be updating this thing more often, but my schedule is really tying me up. I do jot down notes as I go along, like ideas for stories and segments of poems that I want to explore and expand upon. Fencing is really fun - we actually got to wear the mask and armour, then sparred with partners after the warm-up and drills. My counter-four and counter-six really need a lot of work. The instructor told us not to be discouraged if we don't get it right away, the fact that we are learning the basics now rather than flailing about wildly is actually a better start to the sport. I sometimes feel as though I'm wasting the other student's time if I'm having trouble with a technique and screw up the exercise. I had to spar with another lefty, who is really talented, but my counters were all over the place. I thiink I'll ask him to spar to make up for it, so he can get a chance to really fence. But dear god above, I am so sore.

Lately I've been feeling like a fraud. In English class, the one class I cherish, I can't even talk. I spend at least ten hours on campus before I arrive at class, and by the time I get there I'm too tired to want to participate. There are these guys who sit in the back who totally dominate the class. And if you guessed they are all friends, you would be right. One of them is an excellent talker, that is, he sounds as though he's reciting from a text and makes it sound like his own words. I dunno, I could be wrong, I'm just a little bitter. But when I'm asked my thoughts on the text (Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants") I can give a response but when I'm asked for evidence all I can say is "I just got a feeling from it" and I swear I heard snickering in the back. I came to the conclusion I'm more of an intuition person than a "thinking" person - I feel my way through a situation before I find rational proofs.

Even at work I don't think I'm capable of doing the right job. Although, the other day I helped someone with their history paper and I was amazed how animated and inspired I got, and this is Canadian history, the most hated of them all! I'm just feeling a little ambivalent at work - am I actually doing a good job?

Listening to: dub, vintage punk rock, noize, and whatever violin music I can pick up.
Writing: poems, a play, comic, and ideas for short stories and scripts.
Want: a digital camera, to up the memory on the laptop.

And yes oh yes, L and I are heading out to Seattle for the Emerald City Comicon Saturday morning. Six A.M. baby!