Tips for Summer Fun!

And hello to y'all.

My weekend was very eventful, but I'm not feeling so hot. I hope I can get to work tomorrow afternoon, but it's looking like I'm staying home until Tuesday. I suppose that's fine, since I got a little extra cash from my tax return, but it burns me up to miss out on the sweet, sweet raise we got after the strike. I really should look after myself better, especially since I tend to melt into a pinkish, sweaty blob whenever our little blue planet enters a closer orbit to the sun for a few months. Yeah, I'm not a summer person. As I get a little older, I experiment with different techniques to counter the summer heat.

1. Stay inside. Oh, so, it's really sunny and clear and beautiful outside? Enjoy your sunburn. As I see it, twenty to thirty years from now the ozone layer will be as thin as Kate Moss, and we will have to live indoors or be incinerated in thirty seconds. I'm just preparing for the future.

2. Since I've already established my whereabouts during the summer, I will follow my mom's advice: close the blinds and open the windows.

3. Iced coffee beverages. I know, coffee is bad for you, but so is excessive exposure to UV rays. I am choosing the lesser of two evils.

4. Either go out really early in the morning or after the sun goes down. Or those brief, blissful moments just before the sun goes down and the great outdoors begins to simmer down a little.

5. If you do have to go out, other locations must have three basic amenities: air conditioning, air conditioning, and air conditioning. And iced coffee beverages. Okay, that's four.

Now begone!