Chris and Carla's Wedding Report.

Ahem.

First, let me congratulate the bride and groom. I hope the two of you have a wonderful life together, and you both enjoy good fortune and good times.

Since I want to retain the facade of civility, I won't describe the events that occurred during the bachelor party, expect to say that Lisa was invited to join us, which is probably the first time in history a woman joined a bachelor party. Before the boys (and girl) hit the town, we swung by Kevin and Tania's place to celebrate Tania's 30th birthday party. There was a roaring barbecue and lots of beverages, and I was enthralled (yes!) to see old friends again. Once again, happy birthday Tania!

The next day, Lisa and I showed up early to the ceremony. We met at a heritage house in the West End, and the couple kept the ceremony short and intimate. The Justice who conducted the ceremony was the first to marry gay couples in Vancouver, which is incredibly cool. Chris invited me to join the other guys to share some aged whiskey (Lisa was invited to that too!) with him. We're quietly standing in a circle, enjoying the last few minutes of Chris' bachelorhood, when his mom stepped into the room.

"Chris, I need to talk to you."
"Not now, mom."
"I just want to ask you - "
"Mom."
"Could you - "
"Mom, we're having a moment."

That, dear friends, was perfect.

During the ceremony, Lisa teared up a little, and I was very proud of my friends making such a commitment. Chris got a choked up, and I knew they made the right choice to share their lives with each other. Like most weddings, the ceremony flew by, but the photographers had the proverbial field day. I swear, there must have been ten thousand photos taken that day.

We went home to change, and met the reception at the Anza Club. Okay, let me just say this: that was probably the best wedding reception I will ever attend. Seriously, Chris selected the music (no Chicken Dance!), there was plenty of food and booze, and there were so many people I knew: Will, Kevin, Marlo . . . yes, there were more, but I think I drank enough to forget. I danced, I was the one who caught the bride's garter, and I drank. And drank. By the end of the evening, Jeff, the best man (who is a great guy, Chris chose the perfect man for the job) poured me two massive glasses of wine. Not only was he the best man, he was the best bartender.

Oh, yeah. Apologies to Curtis, who I mistakenly introduced as Colin to everyone. Um, sorry man.

Anyhoo, I got to chat with Kevin and Will, which involved camera antics and a tearful confession on my part. Will, Kevin and Chris definitely changed my life for the better, and being so drunk that dignity was conveniently tossed out the window, I told Will what was on my mind for a long time. Thanks for listening, man.

So, we left pretty late and walked a bit with Curtis and then turned down Main Street. Now, the wedding cake, it wasn't so much a cake but a few dozen donuts arranged in layers, topped with a Batman and Wonder Woman in action figure form. Lisa got a few donuts to take home, and was carrying them in a conspicuous Tim Horton's box. As we walked down Main Street, we were suddenly surrounded by clowns. Yes, clowns. The make-up wearing, bicycle horn brandishing type. When they saw the box of donuts, they formed a circle around us and Lisa sheepishly offered the floppy shoed bastards our donuts. They took all but one, then proceeded to dance on the sidewalk and invited us to their clown party. We refused. Not because of any clown prejudice on our part, but because I was already fall-down drunk. After the clowns went their separate way, we stumbled upon a fire coming from one the rooms at the Ivanhoe. A crowd formed outside, and the street was clogged with fire trucks and police cars.

We finally got home. I sat in my office and cried. Partly due to the booze, partly due to the wedding, and partly due to the realization that my friends and I are getting older and our world is changing, but for the best.

On Sunday, we went to the Naam to celebrate Suzanne's (Lisa's mom) birthday and later we went over to Jess' place to celebrate Jason's birthday. Yes, I was very hung-over, like for the whole day. I'm sorry if I can't do these two celebrations any justice, except to say that I was happy to see so many lovely friends in so many hours. Happy birthday to Suzanne and Jason, all the best in the future!

Now, go outside and play in the traffic or something.